فرح
15-01-2009, 11:01 AM
سكران راح يشيع جنازة
سأل مجنون: شو بيشتغل الميت
قال:يحفر قبور
قال السكران
سبحان الله من حفر حفرتا لاخيه وقع فيها
********************
حمصي كتب على باب بيته عباره :
لا تدقون الجرس ...أنا افتح الباب كل 5 دقايق !!
********************
بدوية أشترت لها عطر رجالي
سألها أبوها:ليش مشترية عطر رجالي
قالت له: حرمتونا منهم وبدكم تحرمونا من ريحتهم كمان
********************
حمصي صدم شرطي... ومات الشرطي !!!
الحمصي راح واتصل على 999 وقال لهم: حبيت أقول لكم انكم صرتوا 998
********************
محشش يصلي جنب واحد اسود
قال الامام استوو
قال احنا استوينا بس في واحد احترق ..
********************
في صحفي سأل حمصي : كم نسبة البطالة في حمص ؟
العجمي : والله حمص كلها ابطال
********************
مدرس سأل طالب حمصي: شو جوز الهند بالانجليزي؟
رد عليه: كوكو نت..
قاله المدرس: شاطر ، حطها في جملة مفيدة،
رد عليه: كوكو نت من الشباك !!
********************
حماصنة بدهم يفجروا مبنى،
حطوا القنبلة اول طابق وطلعوا تخبوا عالسطح!!!
Homsy in English
Homsy: I was born in Lebanon.
Lebanese: 'Oh really, what part?'
Homsy: 'All of me, you silly Lebanese!!.'
============================================
A girl asked her Homsy boyfriend: 'Habibi, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?'
Sure replied the Homsy: 'What's your phone number?'
=============================================
Homsy is for the 1st time buying a colour TV.
Homsy: Do you have colour TVs?
Salesman: Sure.
Homsy: Give me a green one.
=============================================
Lebanese: What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Homsy: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
=============================================
A Homsy returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
Son: 'Dad, today we had a Spelling Class – All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is hat because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are intelligent!'
The son seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question:
'Dad today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1 to10 I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son that's because you are intelligent!'
Happy with the answer, son asks another question to his father:
'Dad today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, and I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are 31 years old.'
=============================================
Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy all day??
A: Put him in a round r oom and tell him to sit in the corner.
=============================================
Q: How do you make a Homsy laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
&nsp; =============================================
Q: Why did the Homsy stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
=============================================
Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
</SPAN =============================================
Q: Why can't Homsys make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
=============================================
Q: How did the Homsy try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
==============================================
Q: Why did 18 Homsys go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed!!!
==============================================
Q: What do you call a Homsy in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
==============================================
سأل مجنون: شو بيشتغل الميت
قال:يحفر قبور
قال السكران
سبحان الله من حفر حفرتا لاخيه وقع فيها
********************
حمصي كتب على باب بيته عباره :
لا تدقون الجرس ...أنا افتح الباب كل 5 دقايق !!
********************
بدوية أشترت لها عطر رجالي
سألها أبوها:ليش مشترية عطر رجالي
قالت له: حرمتونا منهم وبدكم تحرمونا من ريحتهم كمان
********************
حمصي صدم شرطي... ومات الشرطي !!!
الحمصي راح واتصل على 999 وقال لهم: حبيت أقول لكم انكم صرتوا 998
********************
محشش يصلي جنب واحد اسود
قال الامام استوو
قال احنا استوينا بس في واحد احترق ..
********************
في صحفي سأل حمصي : كم نسبة البطالة في حمص ؟
العجمي : والله حمص كلها ابطال
********************
مدرس سأل طالب حمصي: شو جوز الهند بالانجليزي؟
رد عليه: كوكو نت..
قاله المدرس: شاطر ، حطها في جملة مفيدة،
رد عليه: كوكو نت من الشباك !!
********************
حماصنة بدهم يفجروا مبنى،
حطوا القنبلة اول طابق وطلعوا تخبوا عالسطح!!!
Homsy in English
Homsy: I was born in Lebanon.
Lebanese: 'Oh really, what part?'
Homsy: 'All of me, you silly Lebanese!!.'
============================================
A girl asked her Homsy boyfriend: 'Habibi, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?'
Sure replied the Homsy: 'What's your phone number?'
=============================================
Homsy is for the 1st time buying a colour TV.
Homsy: Do you have colour TVs?
Salesman: Sure.
Homsy: Give me a green one.
=============================================
Lebanese: What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Homsy: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
=============================================
A Homsy returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
Son: 'Dad, today we had a Spelling Class – All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is hat because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are intelligent!'
The son seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question:
'Dad today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1 to10 I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son that's because you are intelligent!'
Happy with the answer, son asks another question to his father:
'Dad today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, and I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are 31 years old.'
=============================================
Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy all day??
A: Put him in a round r oom and tell him to sit in the corner.
=============================================
Q: How do you make a Homsy laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
&nsp; =============================================
Q: Why did the Homsy stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
=============================================
Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
</SPAN =============================================
Q: Why can't Homsys make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
=============================================
Q: How did the Homsy try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
==============================================
Q: Why did 18 Homsys go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed!!!
==============================================
Q: What do you call a Homsy in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
==============================================