سكران راح يشيع جنازة
سأل مجنون: شو بيشتغل الميت
قال:يحفر قبور
قال السكران
سبحان الله من حفر حفرتا لاخيه وقع فيها
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حمصيكتب على باب بيته عباره :
لا تدقون الجرس ...أنا افتح الباب كل 5 دقايق !!
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بدوية أشترت لها عطر رجالي
سألها أبوها:ليش مشترية عطر رجالي
قالت له: حرمتونا منهم وبدكم تحرمونا من ريحتهم كمان
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حمصي صدم شرطي... ومات الشرطي !!!
الحمصي راح واتصل على 999 وقال لهم: حبيت أقول لكم انكم صرتوا 998
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محشش يصلي جنب واحد اسود
قال الامام استوو
قال احنا استوينا بس في واحد احترق ..
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في صحفي سأل حمصي : كم نسبة البطالة في حمص ؟
العجمي : والله حمص كلها ابطال
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مدرس سأل طالب حمصي: شو جوز الهند بالانجليزي؟
رد عليه: كوكو نت..
قاله المدرس: شاطر ، حطها في جملة مفيدة،
رد عليه: كوكو نت من الشباك !!
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حماصنة بدهم يفجروا مبنى،
حطوا القنبلة اول طابق وطلعوا تخبواعالسطح!!!
Homsy in English


Homsy: I was born in Lebanon.
Lebanese: 'Oh really, what part?'
Homsy: 'All of me, you silly Lebanese!!.'
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A girl asked her Homsy boyfriend: 'Habibi, ifwe get engaged will you give me a ring?'
Sure replied the Homsy: 'What's your phonenumber?'
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Homsy is for the 1st time buying a colour TV.
Homsy: Do you have colour TVs?
Salesman: Sure.
Homsy: Give me a green one.
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Lebanese: What is ANOTHER difference between aMOSQUITO and a FLY?
Homsy: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
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A Homsy returns from his first day at school andimmediately questions his father.
Son: 'Dad, today we had a Spelling Class –Allthe other kidscould only say half the alphabet, but I knew thewhole thing. Ishat because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are intelligent!'
The son seeming content with the answer, askshis father anotherquestion:
'Dad today we had Math class - All the otherkids could only countfrom 1 to10 I could count from 1 to 20. Is thisbecause I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son that's because you areintelligent!'
Happy with the answer, son asks another questionto his father:
'Dad today we had Medical Examination, all theother boys wereshorter than me, and I was at least twice theirheight. Is that because I am Homsy?'
Father: 'No son, that's because you are 31years old.'
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Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy all day??
A: Put him in a round r oom and tell him to sitin the corner.
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Q: How do you make a Homsy laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
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Q: Why did the Homsy stare at frozen orangejuice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
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Q: How do you keep a Homsy busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of apiece of paper.
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Q: Why can't Homsys make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
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Q: How did the Homsy try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
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Q: Why did 18 Homsys go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed!!!
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Q: What do you call a Homsy in an institution ofhigher learning?
A: A visitor.
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